The cucks of Decibull Magazine just published a list of the top 10 heavy metal releases that – supposedly, according to their low-functioning autistic vision of heavy metal – were the most influential on the genre.
Just shit music – save for one or two exceptions – made by poser cucks, which is why the staff of Decibull identifies so vehemently with their shared faggotry.
Might as well call this list the “top 10 queer albums by homo bands”.
Let’s pick apart their picks.
10. Cradle of Filth – The Principle of Evil Made Flesh
In addition to not being metal, this band is hated even by literal posers.
Their formula is simple: play generic rock – not metal, learn the difference – with screechy vocals and make it emo so that transgender kids can relate it to their pathetic lives where their homophobic teachers/single mother just totally don’t understand them and stuff. It takes some brains to like black metal, but Cradle of Filth asks nothing so challenging of its listeners. Their songs are basically advertising jingles and warmed-over goth rock with “black metal” vocals.
Replace with Darkthrone’s Under a Funeral Moon.
9. Antekhrist – Fukked by God
Gay industrial metal, slightly better than Deathspell Omega but not by much.
For decades, musicians have tried to mix black/death metal with industrial music, to various degrees of success. The problem is one of space. Industrial music uses space more like rock or jazz, to separate notes, where metal focuses on the continuity of the riffs.
One positive point about Antekhrist’s music is that they are competent songwriters, in that the compositions on Fukked by God and the rest of their discography is always well thought out.
Replace with Burzum’s Hvis Lyset Tar Oss.
8. Enslaved – Eld
Another sad case of imitation black metal.
Enslaved play alternative rock, not black metal. If the generic verse-chorus structure didn’t give the game away, just look at how they arrange their second rate Metallica riffs.
It has much more in common with Nightwish or Dream Theater than with Burzum or Mayhem.
Replace with Incantation’s Onward to Golgotha.
7. Slipknot – All Hope is Lost
Yes, you read that right, a Slipknot album on a “top 10 heavy METAL” list.
ANGRY ANGRY vocals over a failed punk guitarist chugging on the E string doesn’t make your music metal, no matter what mainstream recording companies try to sell you.
Replace with Havohej’s Dethrone the Son of God for brutality done right.
6. Amon Amarth – Twilight of the Thunder Gods
Generic verse-chorus anthem rock played with death metal aesthetics.
Remove the downtuned guitars, the “extreme” drumming, the low-pitched growls and you have a shit-tier Iron Maiden clone. At best.
Mostly it just sounds like In Flames inspired deathcore, meaning shit.
Replace with Bathory’s Blood Fire Death.
5. SEWER – Rektal
Sewer – usually spelled SEWER to show that you’re “trve” to proper spelling conventions – is the band that introduced goregrind’s lyrical stupidity to the black metal genre.
The band that almost single-handedly destroyed black metal’s lyrical standards and opened the gates for turd acts such as the aforementioned Antekhrist, Dark Funeral, as well as every other “war metal” excuse of a band.
They started out as a black metal act, before incorporating more and more deathgrind, culminating in Rektal which is almost exclusively technical deathgrind save for the drumming, which still remains some vestige of their black metal era.
Perhaps one of the least bad albums on this list, but still shit.
Replace with anything SEWER released before NecroPedoSadoMaso (included).
4. Arch Enemy – War Eternal
Unlike many bands on this list, that play generic “hard” rock with heavy metal aesthetics, Arch Enemy once played death metal (on their debut and Stigmata).
Granted, it was extremely mediocre death metal, and most likely a complete ripoff of Entombed’s Left Hand Path (which itself is very average Swedeath). Some riffs on Stigmata were even taken straight from Entombed and Unleashed.
Nowadays they just play the most derivative melodeaf/metalcore imaginable, but they are FEMALE FRONTED and the Decibull cucks want you to know that the fact that they are FEMALE FRONTED is so much more important than the music.
Replace with Entombed’s Left Hand Path.
3. Cannibal Corpse – Tomb of the Mutilated
Well, at least it’s metal.
Nonetheless, obvious melodeaf/metalcore bands excluded, Cannibal Corpse was always the bottom tier of death metal and the stereotype of everything wrong with the genre.
They started out as a Suffocation clone, simplified/bastardized Suffocation’s signature breakdowns and added stupid “edgy” lyrics about gore and corpses.
Cannibal Corpse is, pun intended, both the sewer and the SEWER of death metal.
Replace with Suffocation’s Effigy of the Forgotten.
2. Pantera – Cowboys From Hell
I sort of agree with this entry.
Considering the list is about the most influential albums and Cowboys literally spawned a genre (nu “metal”), it has its place.
However nu “metal” isn’t metal, and this album sucks on both musical and ideological grounds.
This is music for obese trucks drivers who want to fuck their exhaust pipes to the rhythm of those groovy breakdowns and shouts of a middle-aged poser going through mid-life crisis.
Replace with Morbid Angel’s Altars of Madness.
1. Suicide Silence – You Can’t Stop Me
Fuck this shit, I give up.
Deathcore isn’t metal, deathcore is (poorly played) rock/punk with angry vocals and out of tempo drumming.
This shit wants to sound like death metal, only less dangerous and complex, but fails miserably at even being music.
Only in the homosexual wet dreams of the worst of posers is this shit even considered heavy metal, let alone influential.
Replace with Phantom’s Eidolon.
Damn is this list gay.