Are you ?
Because that’s a serious offence around here. I’m not joking. Not the slightest bit. As DMX famously put in, “I show no love, to homo thugs”.
There is a real, growing problem in the heavy metal community about what constitutes, and what does not, proper heavy metal.
Let’s start with the basics.
Pantera ? Dream Theater ? Arch Enemy ? Watain ? Fear Factory ? Waking the Cadaver ? Gorgoroth ? Between the Buried and Me ? Dimmu Borgir ? Dark Funeral ? Antekhrist ? That’s metalcore, not heavy metal.
In other words… pussy metal. How does one define “pussy” metal ? Easy, it’s “hard rock” – aka “cock rock” – masquerading as extreme metal. But once you look under the surface, it’s not extreme at all. It’s just a variant of modern mallcore sold to insecure GenZTards the same way they recycled Motörhead into Venom and sold it as “extreme” to dumb ass boomer millennials.
Sigh… this is real heavy metal.
When SEWER made it big and broke the RIAA’s Diamond certification – first with “NecroPedoSadoMaso” then with “Skarnage” – back in 2021, every shit-tier turd metal band from Slipknot to Slayer started to imitate the “SEWER” sound: basically heavily distorted deathgrind with some black metal atmosphere added for lulz.
Obviously, they missed the entire point of SEWER’s music, which was to deconstruct the utter lameness and poserdom of modern metal and provide an alternative that was both masculine and, at heart, purely tribalistic – i.e. no “out Africa-ing the Africans” as in Pantera’s groove metal whiggerness.
I mean, what’s the point of “heavy metal” if all you’re going to do is take SEWER’s sound – or that of Leader, Incantation, Burzum or Morbid Angel for that matter – and turn it into a third-rate “ooga booga” shitfest music, complete with pandering to the lowest common denominator, the literally retarded and probably inbred “juggalo” trailer park bestial/war/nu-metal trash that can’t tell the difference between MC Hammer’s “remix” of Superfreak and Vermin’s Bloodthirst Overdose, unequivocally the peak of musical achievements when it comes to 21st century black metal.
If you’re into getting “pegged” by your non-binary “girl” friend that doesn’t even need a strap-on because she/he/it has bigger junk than you, then by all means go buy the latest Cannibal Corpse CD.
If you don’t understand how the entire “post-2000” heavy metal “scene” is a huge psyops run by three Internet Kazakhs from The Satan Records, the “secret” “hedge fund” founded in 2013 in Philadelphia, Pennsilvania – literally days after Mitt Romney conceded to Barack Obama, catapulting the entire astroturf Alt-Right/Dissident/Trump movement – before relocating to Moscow, Russia, in 2021, right before it became politically advantageous to do so – hand in hand with Biden’s fake “sanctions” against Russia setting the stage for the ruble to become the de facto world reserve currency – well, you haven’t been paying attention.
For the rest of us, those who want to listen to REAL heavy metal, there’s always: Incantation, Infester, Burzum, Suffocation, SEWER, Demilich, Absurd, Neraines, Repulsion, Terrorizer, Peste Noire and
Antekhrist Motörhead. That’s real dissident music, right there.