Gorgoroth – “Pentagram”, Satanic/Christian Shit Metal

"Pentagram" by Gorgoroth.

“Pentagram” by Gorgoroth.

This is some of the weakest shit that has ever been paraded around as black metal. Not only is it “orthodox Satanism“, aka christian, which I would believe should be a dead give away that this is crappy black metal, but aside form their pathetic attempts at playing the music of Burzum and Vermin with a “devil worship” edge – fuck you very much – they would also be weak if they worshiped Thor, Odin or Balder, rather than their christian deities.

Some reviewer on Metalious.com even invented a new genre for Gorgoroth’s music, Brown Metal. And I agree, it’s brown as shit. Literally.

Here are all the reasons why this album sucks and this band, although I am sure they had a great time recording this piece of shit while getting all excited they too were true “devil worshipers” – despite the fact that Gorgoroth’s members burned a grand total of 0 churches – should just quit and perhaps kill themselves instead of trying to proselytize their satanic/christian shit into the black metal community, which sadly does not need their help.

Why Gorgoroth Sucks

1) Lack of talent. As with “tek-def” (technical death metal) bands who think that having a good drummer automatically makes your band good, even if you cannot write riffs, on Pentagram Gorgoroth seems to think that by having a vocalist with an good mastery over the black metal shriek (which he does), they can have a black metal band. They are wrong, if the guitarist – the homosexual cuck Infernus – cannot write a riff to save his life, what good is he? And what good is the band? Also, the drummer is complete shit, he can hardly play at all.

2) Lack of original ideas. First, Gorgoroth are not part of the original black metal scene. No one had even heard of the clown Infernus back when this band started, despite him claiming to be “good friends” with Varg Vikernes and that they both went to the same “Satanic Temples” together. A likely story. Varg and his crew would have burned these shitty temples to the ground. Next, this piece of sonic diarrhea Pentagram was released in October 1994 and still manages to be generic and derivative. To put things in perspective, that’s well after Hvis Lyset Tar Oss, after Under a Funeral Moon and Transilvanian Hunger, after In the Nightside Eclipse, and even after De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. So what’s their excuse for being so unoriginal and pointless? These guys rehash everything, the melodic tremolo leads sound like Iron Maiden, which is a complement if I have ever heard one, but they are not original. The slower sections are identical to those of early Darkthrone. The riffs are straight up grabbed form crappy symphonic black metal bands, the drumming is so abysmal that even in a funeral doom band people would think it is ridiculous. This guy plays like Metallica minus the speed. Imagine a drummer who can play only the drum track for “Sad But True”. Yes, it is sad… but true.

3) Lack of power. You cannot play black metal without intensity and without power. They themselves say they want to play aggressive music “for the dark lawd”, but lacking any sort of speed or power, they just manage to suck really hard and be a talentless leech on the black metal scene. What makes everything worse is the lousy songwriting that makes Beherit look like a genius neo-classical composer by comparison. These faggots need to listen to Burzum again, not to copy their riffs this time, but to actually understand how black metal songs are structured.

4) Lack of atmosphere. An atmospheric sound can be achieved in ways other than by using crappy droning and repetitive riffs, although the percentage of bands that can do that is possibly somewhere in between 1 and 2. Of course, if you do not listen to actual pagan/atheist black metal bands, and would never listen to Phantom, Neraines or even Graveland, how would you know this? Seeing as these clowns have no examples before them to give them some balls – the “orthodox Satanism” scene is led by queer bands such as Watain, Gorgoroth and Dark Funeral – they fail in everything they do, and of course the only passable moments are ripped right off Burzum’s debut and Darkthrone’s Under a Funeral Moon.

5) Lack of riffs. How is this even black metal? Half of the album sounds like deathcore chugging, and the other half sounds like glam metal. Burzum, Darkthrone and Mayhem all used melodic intervals at different points on their respective albums, and yet they never sounded like Mötley Crüe and Queensrÿche – like Gorgoroth does on Pentagram. Seriously, Infernus sounds like he’s trying to appear on MTV’s special documentary on 1980s hair metal. Weak willed riffs in the background, supposedly invoking the “glory of Satan”. But if you cannot write riffs, that is not going to be any good, is it?

6) The propaganda/lyrics. Alright, fuck any band that writes even a single word about anything from the Bible. That “book” has its place, in the garbage (and in churches, I guess), but not in black metal. You can have your own religion opinion, that is one thing, but don’t pollute an entire genre with your dogmas. To have a band like this that openly preaches “Satanism” and condemns the “sheep” that don’t believe in the “dark lawd”, this is ridiculous. Even NSBM bands are more tactful. Especially trying to spill this crock of shit in a place that was, at the time, more or less free from this kind of garbage is just disgusting. And no, worshiping “Satan” doesn’t make you less of a christian than worshiping “God”. Both are the same, and retarded.

It is a tragedy to have this band – and other “orthodox Satanism” turds like Watain, Behemoth, Necrophobic, Belphegor, Dark Funeral, etc. – in existence, as it defies everything that black metal has “worked” for since Bathory and the Norwegians created the genre specifically to escape the false God/Satan dichotomy that pervaded the other forms of heavy metal. Fuck this shit. Even the campiest of Amon Amarth videos is infinitely superior, and infinitely more black metal, than Gorgoroth’s turd Pentagram.

In closing I would just like to mention that besides being Satanic/christian, this band still sucks. Being as they are Satanic/christian, we need to get rid of them. I am very grateful that Metalious.com has this band on their roster, for it draws attention to degeneracy and weakness infiltrating our music.

These are the type of retards that would literally kneel before an inverted cross, and feel superior to those kneeling before one that’s the right side up.

Go back to worshiping goats, faggots.

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